Vaulting in the Big Leagues

It was that time again.  I had to get my teeth cleaned.

I’m not afraid of the dentist.  I’m so calm I have to try and not fall asleep in the chair.  Except this visit, the dentist was asking everything about my family and my life.  It’s not the questioning that bothers me, but I can’t put together an intelligent-sounding answer with metal instruments in my mouth.

Since parents should be paid to be your public relations personnel, she was already aware that I was transferring to UMass Amherst—but here was her opportunity to get the details straight from the source.

After speaking to my parents’ friends and other family members, I have the reactions down to a science.  I was worried they would think I was crazy for transferring so late in my degree. I was surprised to hear their praise and encouragement of “finding yourself” or “doing what’s right for you.”  When they hear that I’m studying English, they praise the programs and the school, and then name about 45 people they know there and/or graduated from there.  I tend to smile politely and nod.

My dentist wasn’t any different—and smiling and nodding was all I could do, this worked in my favor.

“So you’re doing track too? Wow! What do you do again?”

“Pole vault.” (which really sounds like “pull vut”)

“How do you even do that?! Isn’t that hard?!”

(*Smile & Nod*)

“Are they giving you any scholarship money?”

“No.”

Ahhh, yes.  There’s the look.  I’ve seen it before many times on my “press tour” as I like to call it—which is the polite thing your parents make you do.  It’s the look they give you that says, “No money? You’re nuts!”  But it was okay for academics, right? Because I’m paying them.

“Well,” they respond, “that’s okay.”

(*Smile & Nod*)

Here’s what I would really like to say to them:

Our entire lives, we’re told to follow our dreams and achieve our goals.  We are taught through stories, movies, and biographies.   If you take every cliché saying or motivational quote, that’s what we’re encouraged to do.  Look at those quotes again.  Do you add, “only if they give you money,” to the end of each saying like reading a fortune cookie? Follow your dreams—only if they give you money. Do your best—only if they give you money. Believe in yourself—only if they give you money. Thankfully, I’m passionate and willing to get all the experience I can from being a college athlete—without the motivation of money.  I’m just asking for some more help in the event.  I’m not a star. I’m not the best, but I’m pretty damn happy taking steps in what I feel is the right direction to be the best I can be.

Despite the part of me that wants to give a little sass, there’s also a huge part of me that is sympathetic.  Maybe they’ve never experienced being so passionate and committed to something they wanted to do.  Maybe something got in the way.  Maybe they lost too much faith to even try.  All I know is that I’m grateful everyday for the opportunities I have and look forward to the upcoming school year.  But it’s conversations like this that make me realize how lucky I am to be experiencing life as a college athlete—even if they don’t give me scholarship money.