Rethink. Regroup. Refocus.
This past weekend was my first outdoor meet. I was extremely excited to be in my hometown of Fitchburg (I’m sure many are wondering why the heck I would be excited to be in Fitchburg, haha).
The morning started out by helping out at the Patriot Pole Vault Clinic at Fitchburg High/Crocker Field. This was the perfect opportunity to give back to Patriot PV because they do so much for me, help me out, and ARE my coaches. This was also a chance to come back home and see my high school coaches and give back to the community as well. I’m such a sucker for that kind of stuff. I couldn’t believe how many students attended! What an amazing turn out. I could only stay for a few hours, but it was fun. Lately I haven’t really had my head on straight and have been pretty frustrated with vaulting for UML and talking to my high school coaches really gave me a new (well, not really new) perspective. It was really nice to hear how proud they are of me, and I know how much Patriot PV supports me too. I haven’t really gained a support system here at UML without a pole vault coach, me practicing on my own, not a huge connection to the team–but this is my team: the coaches that love and support me from home and with Patriot. (Sorry, I got all mushy on you…gross 
)
Well, this set up the perfect attitude going in to the meet that was just a stone’s throw over at Fitchburg State. Couldn’t ask for better weather, but WHAT A LONG DAY. Women’s vault started at 2:30pm with a height of 7ft. I came in at 10 ft 2 hours later. I won the meet and jumped 10’6″ (Hanna McPhee also got 10’6″ ! I believe she said that tied her personal best, so YAY!). It ties the outdoor vault record, so it’s a decent start I guess.
Once again, I was vaulting over there by myself. Alone. I really feel like I’m just banging my head against a wall making no headway. I’m kind of sick of hearing that I have so much potential to go much higher and make bigger jumps, but I don’t get the opportunity. I’m all for making your own opportunities and not sitting on a log and crying about it—but I HAVE been making practices, I HAVE been traveling hours away and taking time to try and make things happen and it’s just not working. I joke and say I’m the foster child of pole vault, but it’s really getting old. I’m paying my own way, making sacrifices that my other teammates don’t have to make. It’s just not fair. I’m the kind of person that most likely wouldn’t be in school if it weren’t for athletics and extra curriculars, so if the opportunity for me to succeed in the vault isn’t here for me…then maybe this isn’t the right place for me anymore. I can study English & Writing anywhere. I’m already behind in getting a degree “on time”. I’m only a sophomore in athletics and still have 2 more years after this season. I know this sounds absolutely crazy, especially being in the “homestretch” of my degree, but I’ve started doing some preliminary work and looking into transferring. I have a meeting with our head coach tomorrow. We’ll see what happens.
It’ll probably be just a crazy idea I have then something will fall into place and I’ll just shake my head. That happens a lot.
